I have been ushered into an empty room and told to sit and wait. And I obediently do as told without any idea for how long, for what, or for whom. And in that room I still am.
It’s frustrating, to say the least. I keep asking myself whether I made a wrong turn somewhere back there. Am I being punished for a mistake I’ve done in the past? Is this a consequence of a bad decision I made? Should I have chosen a different school, degree, career, or perhaps, a different zip code?
Right now I do not have the answers, but I do know that I want to be genuinely happy. The kind where I wake up smiling for no apparent reason. The kind where I don’t have to keep a list of the things I should be grateful for just to feel light. Synthetic happiness is better than none at all, but wouldn’t it be better if it were organic and unforced?
I’m still in the waiting room, and the uncertainty is starting to take a toll on me. All that I have to keep me sane is the idea that we’re all destined to reach a relative level of greatness fulfilling our calling, purpose, or dharma. That we will all soon become useful, contributing individuals to society. But until that happens to me, and I’m sure that will be one great moment, I’ll continue to bide my time counting the cracks on the wall.
Amusing Musings and Whatnot 